Remembering Our Frailties

Remembering Our Frailties
Wednesday, August 21, 2024 by Susan Lyttek

For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust. Psalm 103:14

I tend to live my life between two extremes.

On the one hand, I think I can achieve a lot in the day ahead. I plan to accomplish any number of things in the day, week, month not yet lived. It seems oh-so-logical that the time ahead of me is full of potential. I mean each day has sixteen hours available to work and be productive. Certainly, some of that can make headway on the projects I have started and the commitments I have made.

On the other hand, I feel weak and unable in the day at hand. In the moment I am living, quite often, accomplishing anything other than breathing seems impossible. It seems I am heading to the return to dust much faster than I ever imagined.

Yet, if I look behind, if I remember, I can see how God has used me in spite of each day’s weakness. I see how he stretched days to get amazing things done, almost like Aaron and Joshua holding up Moses’ arms to finish (and win) the battle. But I also see the times he let me cower in a cave of my own making like Elijah. For a time, he lets me stay there, trapped in fear, until his still small voice calls out. “I have work for you to do. But not alone. I am with you. And there are thousands about you who know me in truth. Ask them and they will walk with you.”

And if I have, if I’ve walked in both my frailty and obedience, things have been done. Sometimes, amazing things.

But looking back is not 100% truthful. They say hindsight is 20/20, but it really isn’t. Hindsight will tell you what you needed to do to accomplish X perhaps. Or hindsight will tell you what historical things impacted you. But hindsight can be colored and altered by the events that came after. Just look at any history book after a war. The victor rewrites the events. And even in my own mind, my own memories, I can be the victor.

When I look back in that way, I often gloss over how frail I felt at the time. I forget the fear of stepping into the unknown and only remember the exaltation of soaring on God’s strength. I forget the angst that held me back for hours or days and remember the success.

It’s rather like ziplining.

On that day, (I do need to do it again sometime) I was absolutely shaking at the idea. It was only because I had told so many people that I was going to do it that shame kept me from backing out. That, and I put myself first in line. I figured adding embarrassment into the mix would make sure I stepped off that platform. Even so, step by step the fear mounted. I’m sure I was hyperventilating by the time I got to the point where I saw open air in front of me. I say, I’m sure, but I don’t remember. What I remember was the sensation of flying over the water. I remember my scream from the step into nothingness changing into a whoop of joy.

I was totally weak. I was totally encased in my fear. But the support system, like my God, had it all under control. To get beyond fear, to get to where I was flying, meant I had to take a step.

Leaving the Known

Not exactly happy.

Oh, the possibility is there,

but the now

is filled with

intimidation

fear

nervousness

and things indescribable.

A sort of angst.

I am not God.

I cannot predict what will happen

When I take that one,

Stubborn step

Into the unknown.

Still, God knows all my weaknesses and frailties and still decides to include me in his plan, in his work. And he knows that I am in a weak place right now. Whether this is a cave or me stuck on the platform in front of the abyss, the fact is that I’m stuck. I can see the potential of tomorrow, but today I feel so tired, so weak.

And I am. I have always been tired and weak compared to my God.

Isaiah 40: 28-29 Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the Lord,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.

And so I ask my Lord, tomorrow, please help me step into the unknown and strengthen me as you see fit.

Because on my own, I am weak and weary.

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