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A few nights ago, when I sat awake and agitated in the wee hours, a quote kept racing through my head: 
“Fear is the little mind killer.” (Frank Herbert, Dune)
I tried to pray and random fears resurfaced.
I tried to go back to sleep when I felt tired, only to have an image or a snippet of conversation jolt me bolt upright.
Finally, when the sun began to rise and light eased the terror of those fears, did I go back to sleep.
If I were to label the last twelve months as anything, I would call them ‘the year of fear.’
As the structure of my life has been changing, I have reacted irrationally and yes, fearfully, to situations. Many of them have not warranted the reaction that I gave them. If I trusted God as He deserves, none of them would have. But He knows my heart and loves me still.
I can’t remember being this ongoing-ly nervous since the days that I was stationed in Germany. Those two years at least had difficult moments that would have tried most. I never knew what mind game or unfair trial I would be thrown by my boss—all in his misguided attempt at clarifying male/female roles in the military.
I walked on eggshells then and I feel like I am doing that now. But the battle today is not external. I am my own enemy. As the perimeters of life change and I find myself in a new season, it doesn’t take a whole lot to throw me into a spiral of terror.
What set off the other night?
I finally went to see the new dentist. He confirmed that I need several fillings. And a crown—or two.
Fifteen or more years ago, a dentist we went to briefly because of an insurance change had told me the same thing. I went to get a second opinion from the woman who had been my dentist longer than any other. She said I would likely need one someday, but not right then.
According to two dentists, the one who took over her practice when she retired and this new one, someday has arrived.
I guess I should be grateful for the 15-year respite, but this procedure is still an unknown to me. Add in my wacky reactions to painkillers and sedatives and my ‘what-if’ fears intensify.
So today, in the light of day, I’m focusing on Scriptures that bring peace.
Phil. 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Isaiah 26:3 You will keep him perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
Luke 12:25 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
Matt 6:34a Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.
Psalm 23:4 Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.
Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid nor dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
With these in my heart and soul, perhaps I can sleep tonight.
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Thoughts about Having the Flu
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Musing About the Original Language
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Susan Lyttek
12/27/2018
Christmas Letter 2018
Susan Lyttek
12/19/2018
Hidden
Susan Lyttek
12/12/2018
Celebrate Advent!
Susan Lyttek
12/6/2018
In Gratitude to a Kind Stranger
Susan Lyttek
11/28/2018
Thankful Moments
Susan Lyttek
11/21/2018
Brave Life
Susan Lyttek
11/14/2018
The Need to Do
Susan Lyttek
11/7/2018
A Week that Makes Me Remember Mom
Susan Lyttek
10/31/2018
Trying to Understand a Just God
Susan Lyttek
10/24/2018
Our Limited Perspectives
Susan Lyttek
10/17/2018
My Hope
Susan Lyttek
10/10/2018
Grieving through the Eyes of Eternity
Susan Lyttek
10/3/2018
(Re) Learning to Scream
Susan Lyttek
9/25/2018
Hurricanes and Other Storms
Susan Lyttek
9/15/2018
Trusting God Doesn't Come Easy
Susan Lyttek
9/7/2018
The Walk of Life
Susan Lyttek
9/1/2018
Escaping Life Under the Sun
Susan Lyttek
8/24/2018
Why I Know There is a Hell
Susan Lyttek
8/18/2018
What I Can Do
Susan Lyttek
8/10/2018
The Non-writing Writing
Susan Lyttek
8/3/2018
Thoughts on Forgiveness
Susan Lyttek
7/28/2018
Of Mice and Fragile Clay
Susan Lyttek
7/21/2018
Farewell to the Teenage Years
Susan Lyttek
7/6/2018
Living Free
Susan Lyttek
6/30/2018
Reminiscing
Susan Lyttek
6/22/2018
A Writer's Tribute to Honest Guys
Susan Lyttek
6/15/2018
In Balance
Susan Lyttek
6/10/2018
Learning from Tabitha
Susan Lyttek
6/2/2018
Still Learning to Breathe
Susan Lyttek
5/26/2018
To Breathe
Susan Lyttek
5/19/2018
Sisters, Mothers and Dear Women
Susan Lyttek
5/13/2018
Tied to the Electrons
Susan Lyttek
5/6/2018
Powerless
Susan Lyttek
4/29/2018
A Sestina Education
Susan Lyttek
4/23/2018
Remodeling
Susan Lyttek
4/15/2018
Learning to Promote
Susan Lyttek
4/9/2018
Nobody's Fool--An Easter Sestina
Susan Lyttek
3/31/2018
The Week Leading to Easter
Susan Lyttek
3/25/2018
Off-balance
Susan Lyttek
3/18/2018
Lessons from the Hyacinth
Susan Lyttek
3/11/2018
Plant Lessons--The Aloe
Susan Lyttek
3/4/2018
The Lessons the Birds Teach Me
Susan Lyttek
2/25/2018
Love... By Any Other Name
Susan Lyttek
2/17/2018
The Ongoing Task of Learning
Susan Lyttek
2/4/2018
Musings About Pain
Susan Lyttek
1/29/2018
Time to Breathe
Susan Lyttek
1/21/2018
A Poem a Day
Susan Lyttek
1/13/2018
Beginnings
Susan Lyttek
1/6/2018
Why the Gospel of Luke Speaks to Me Best
Susan Lyttek
12/29/2017
Christmas Letter
Susan Lyttek
12/21/2017
Revisiting Anna
Susan Lyttek
12/9/2017
Twas the Night
Susan Lyttek
12/1/2017
Quitting
Susan Lyttek
11/25/2017
The Wonder of a Shoebox
Susan Lyttek
11/18/2017
A Place to Hide
Susan Lyttek
11/11/2017
Thoughts on the Reformation
Susan Lyttek
11/4/2017
Lessons in Praise
Susan Lyttek
10/28/2017
Why I Love Fairy Tales (and It Probably Isn’t What You Think)
Susan Lyttek
10/21/2017
For Better, For Worse
Susan Lyttek
10/14/2017
Practicing Functional Fitness
Susan Lyttek
10/7/2017
Tired
Susan Lyttek
9/30/2017
Priorities
Susan Lyttek
9/23/2017
Teaching Other People's Kids
Susan Lyttek
9/16/2017
Crunch Time
Susan Lyttek
9/9/2017
At War With ... Myself
Susan Lyttek
9/2/2017
Prepping for the School Year
Susan Lyttek
8/26/2017
Overweight, Part Three
Susan Lyttek
8/19/2017
Overweight, Part Two
Susan Lyttek
8/11/2017
Overweight
Susan Lyttek
8/5/2017
Creating Worlds
Susan Lyttek
7/28/2017
Prepping to Attend a Christian Writers Conference
Susan Lyttek
7/20/2017
Karl Lessons
Susan Lyttek
7/7/2017
How I Learned the Feeling of Freedom
Susan Lyttek
7/3/2017
Learning from Marriage
Susan Lyttek
6/24/2017
What I Learned from my Dad
Susan Lyttek
6/17/2017
Lessons from Being Sick and Tired
Susan Lyttek
6/11/2017
My Worst Critic
Susan Lyttek
5/26/2017
May Birthday Tribute
Susan Lyttek
5/20/2017
Learning to Mom
Susan Lyttek
5/13/2017
Learning to Mom
Susan Lyttek
5/13/2017
Learning Honesty
Susan Lyttek
5/6/2017
A Tribute to my Husband
Susan Lyttek
4/22/2017
Celebrating the Resurrection
Susan Lyttek
4/15/2017
Your Custom Tract
Susan Lyttek
4/8/2017
March Birthday Tribute
Susan Lyttek
3/29/2017
A Tribute to Grandparents
Susan Lyttek
3/11/2017
God as Our Rock
Susan Lyttek
3/4/2017
February Birthday Tribute
Susan Lyttek
2/18/2017
Writing, Living and Existing
Susan Lyttek
2/11/2017
Learning from the Groundhog and the Auto Show
Susan Lyttek
2/4/2017
January Birthday Tribute
Susan Lyttek
1/28/2017
Of Christmases and January Past
Susan Lyttek
1/21/2017
Welcome 2017!
Susan Lyttek
12/31/2016
Our Christmas Letter
Susan Lyttek
12/23/2016
NaNo and Pebble Lessons
Susan Lyttek
12/16/2016
December Birthday Tributes
Susan Lyttek
12/5/2016
NaNoWriMo Lessons and Hopes
Susan Lyttek
11/18/2016
My November Birthday Tributes
Susan Lyttek
11/11/2016
Lessons of the Week
Susan Lyttek
11/4/2016
Learning to Speak Feline
Susan Lyttek
10/28/2016
On Changed Hearts, Changed Minds and Politics
Susan Lyttek
10/21/2016
October Birthday Tribute
Susan Lyttek
10/12/2016
Words and the Word (Part 2)
Susan Lyttek
10/2/2016
Words and the Word (Part 1)
Susan Lyttek
9/26/2016
Questions of Pain
Susan Lyttek
9/18/2016
September Birthdays
Susan Lyttek
9/11/2016
Standard Rescue, part 2
Susan Lyttek
9/3/2016
Standard Rescue, part 1
Susan Lyttek
8/27/2016
How to Go Into Debt
Susan Lyttek
8/19/2016
The Difference Hope Makes
Susan Lyttek
7/30/2016
Why Teach Poetry?
Susan Lyttek
7/24/2016
Lessons from My Color Bible, Part 3
Susan Lyttek
7/15/2016
Blog-itis
Susan Lyttek
7/8/2016
Reminiscing with the Patriot
Susan Lyttek
7/4/2016
Lessons in Fear
Susan Lyttek
6/30/2016
Lessons from My Color Bible, Part 2
Susan Lyttek
6/10/2016
Leftover Queen, Part II
Susan Lyttek
5/27/2016
Leftover Queen
Susan Lyttek
5/20/2016
Lessons from my Color Bible
Susan Lyttek
5/12/2016
Living As Called
Susan Lyttek
4/22/2016
Making Writing Fun Again
Susan Lyttek
4/15/2016
Springing
Susan Lyttek
4/6/2016
Good Friday Thoughts
Susan Lyttek
3/26/2016
Confessions of a Delinquent Blogger
Susan Lyttek
3/23/2016
Accepting the Gift of Free Time
Susan Lyttek
2/29/2016
Rest vs. the Type-A Female
Susan Lyttek
2/22/2016
Lessons on Sickness and Rest
Susan Lyttek
2/14/2016
Sick Lessons
Susan Lyttek
2/6/2016
Blocked
Susan Lyttek
1/27/2016
When Inspiration Fails to Strike
Susan Lyttek
1/16/2016
Stumbling Into the New Year
Susan Lyttek
1/13/2016
Annual Christmas Letter
Susan Lyttek
12/26/2015
Benefits to the Parent: Help with Work
Susan Lyttek
10/31/2015
Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: Home
Susan Lyttek
10/24/2015
The Benefits of Unscheduled Free Time
Susan Lyttek
10/16/2015
Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: More Empathetic
Susan Lyttek
10/9/2015
Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: More Empathetic
Susan Lyttek
10/9/2015
Benefits to the Parent: More Willing to Persevere
Susan Lyttek
10/2/2015
Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: Closer to God
Susan Lyttek
9/25/2015
Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: More Intuitive
Susan Lyttek
9/18/2015
Benefits to the Homeschool Parent--Weaker
Susan Lyttek
9/11/2015
Benefits to the Parent--Seeing God's Hand
Susan Lyttek
9/4/2015
Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: Savvy-er
Susan Lyttek
8/28/2015
Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: Braver
Susan Lyttek
8/21/2015
Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: Wiser
Susan Lyttek
8/14/2015
The Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: Smarter
Susan Lyttek
8/7/2015
Benefits of Being a Homeschool Parent (Intro)
Susan Lyttek
7/31/2015
Lessons from my Great Aunt Ansie
Susan Lyttek
7/24/2015
Virginia Writers Conference
Susan Lyttek
7/14/2015
Relearning Fitness (Part 2)
Susan Lyttek
7/10/2015
Some Truth About Independence Day
Susan Lyttek
7/3/2015
Relearning Fitness (Part 1)
Susan Lyttek
6/26/2015
Under the Sun
Susan Lyttek
6/19/2015
A Lesson I Keep Needing to Re-Learn
Susan Lyttek
6/13/2015
Times of Transition
Susan Lyttek
6/6/2015
Blog Ideas
Susan Lyttek
5/30/2015
Mercs Next Door, Part 2
Susan Lyttek
5/23/2015
Mercs Next Door, Part 1
Susan Lyttek
5/15/2015
Getting to Mom
Susan Lyttek
5/9/2015
To Blog or Not to Blog
Susan Lyttek
5/2/2015
Driving Lessons
Susan Lyttek
4/25/2015
Gaming Education
Susan Lyttek
4/18/2015
Fast Lessons
Susan Lyttek
4/11/2015
Resurrection Thoughts
Susan Lyttek
4/4/2015
Power of the Coupon
Susan Lyttek
3/28/2015
Spring Planting
Susan Lyttek
3/21/2015
Showing My Age
Susan Lyttek
3/14/2015
Teaching Women
Susan Lyttek
3/7/2015
Beware the Ides of... February
Susan Lyttek
2/28/2015
Honoring a President in Fiction
Susan Lyttek
2/21/2015
Gratitude Lessons
Susan Lyttek
2/14/2015
The Pros and Cons of Research
Susan Lyttek
2/6/2015
Off the Hamster Wheel... Part 3
Susan Lyttek
1/30/2015
Off the Hamster Wheel... Part 2
Susan Lyttek
1/24/2015
The Homeschool Hamster Wheel
Susan Lyttek
1/16/2015
Etiquette Education
Susan Lyttek
1/9/2015
Ready Stance
Susan Lyttek
1/2/2015
Our Christmas Letter
Susan Lyttek
12/26/2014
Sharing Christmas, Part Two
Susan Lyttek
12/19/2014
Sharing Christmas
Susan Lyttek
12/12/2014
Swedish Christmas Education
Susan Lyttek
12/5/2014
The Worry/Grumble Antidote
Susan Lyttek
11/28/2014
Milestone Days
Susan Lyttek
11/21/2014
Volunteer Education--via Operation Christmas Child
Susan Lyttek
11/14/2014
Veteran Education
Susan Lyttek
11/7/2014
Reformation Education
Susan Lyttek
10/31/2014
The Reluctant Vegetarian
Susan Lyttek
10/24/2014
What I Didn't, Couldn't Teach
Susan Lyttek
10/17/2014
Learning to Stand
Susan Lyttek
10/10/2014
Christian Work Ethic
Susan Lyttek
10/3/2014
Animal Education
Susan Lyttek
9/26/2014
Changing the Love of Learning
Susan Lyttek
9/19/2014
Blog Block
Susan Lyttek
9/12/2014
Educating Mom
Susan Lyttek
9/5/2014
The Debate
Susan Lyttek
8/29/2014
Interview with Jane, a non-homeschooling friend
Susan Lyttek
8/22/2014
The Homeschool Rebel
Susan Lyttek
8/15/2014
Other Countries, Other Peoples
Susan Lyttek
8/8/2014
George Washington Lessons
Susan Lyttek
8/1/2014
Interview with Heather Day Gilbert
Susan Lyttek
7/25/2014
A Creation Education
Susan Lyttek
7/18/2014
The Blessing of the Church
Susan Lyttek
7/11/2014
Free to Homeschool
Susan Lyttek
7/4/2014
The Best Thing
Susan Lyttek
6/27/2014
School Lite
Susan Lyttek
6/20/2014
Homeschooling Poetry
Susan Lyttek
6/13/2014
Homeschool Preschool
Susan Lyttek
6/6/2014
AWANAcation (or Awana Education)
Susan Lyttek
5/30/2014
Drowning in the Ideal Schedule
Susan Lyttek
5/23/2014
Penpal Encouragement: An Interview with Sandi
Susan Lyttek
5/16/2014
Unexpected Education
Susan Lyttek
5/9/2014
When Is a Homeschool Mom NOT a Homeschool Mom?
Susan Lyttek
5/2/2014
Relax, It's Just Writing
Susan Lyttek
4/25/2014
Purpose Driven Homeschool
Susan Lyttek
4/18/2014
The Heart of the Music
Susan Lyttek
4/11/2014
Music Lessons
Susan Lyttek
4/4/2014
Teaching My Testimony (Part 2)
Susan Lyttek
3/28/2014
Teaching My Testimony (Part 1)
Susan Lyttek
3/21/2014
Glimmers of Homeschooling
Susan Lyttek
3/14/2014
Failed Days
Susan Lyttek
3/7/2014
Other Side of the Homeschool Table...Leanne Hanson
Susan Lyttek
2/28/2014
Fairy Tale Theology
Susan Lyttek
2/21/2014
Things I Love about Life and Homeschooling
Susan Lyttek
2/14/2014
Limitless Creativity by Bonnie Rose Hudson
Susan Lyttek
2/7/2014
Weaving Christ into Math
Susan Lyttek
1/31/2014
Paula Mowery Interview
Susan Lyttek
1/24/2014
Historic Field Trips
Susan Lyttek
1/17/2014
Snow Days... Homeschool Style
Susan Lyttek
1/10/2014
Homeschooled Mom Resolutions
Susan Lyttek
1/3/2014
Off Schedule
Susan Lyttek
12/27/2013
Teaching Christmas
Susan Lyttek
12/20/2013
The (Writerly) Benefits of Learning Together
Susan Lyttek
12/13/2013
Homeschooling reinforced that I am not perfect
Susan Lyttek
12/6/2013
And they said homeschooling would be easy...
Susan Lyttek
11/29/2013
