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Lessons in Fear
Thursday, June 30, 2016 by Susan Lyttek

A few nights ago, when I sat awake and agitated in the wee hours, a quote kept racing through my head: “Fear is the little mind killer.” (Frank Herbert, Dune)

I tried to pray and random fears resurfaced.

I tried to go back to sleep when I felt tired, only to have an image or a snippet of conversation jolt me bolt upright.

Finally, when the sun began to rise and light eased the terror of those fears, did I go back to sleep.

If I were to label the last twelve months as anything, I would call them ‘the year of fear.’

As the structure of my life has been changing, I have reacted irrationally and yes, fearfully, to situations. Many of them have not warranted the reaction that I gave them. If I trusted God as He deserves, none of them would have. But He knows my heart and loves me still.

I can’t remember being this ongoing-ly nervous since the days that I was stationed in Germany. Those two years at least had difficult moments that would have tried most. I never knew what mind game or unfair trial I would be thrown by my boss—all in his misguided attempt at clarifying male/female roles in the military.

I walked on eggshells then and I feel like I am doing that now. But the battle today is not external. I am my own enemy. As the perimeters of life change and I find myself in a new season, it doesn’t take a whole lot to throw me into a spiral of terror.

What set off the other night?

I finally went to see the new dentist. He confirmed that I need several fillings. And a crown—or two.

Fifteen or more years ago, a dentist we went to briefly because of an insurance change had told me the same thing. I went to get a second opinion from the woman who had been my dentist longer than any other. She said I would likely need one someday, but not right then.

According to two dentists, the one who took over her practice when she retired and this new one, someday has arrived.

I guess I should be grateful for the 15-year respite, but this procedure is still an unknown to me. Add in my wacky reactions to painkillers and sedatives and my ‘what-if’ fears intensify.

So today, in the light of day, I’m focusing on Scriptures that bring peace.

Phil. 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep him perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

Luke 12:25 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

Matt 6:34a Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.

Psalm 23:4 Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.

Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid nor dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

With these in my heart and soul, perhaps I can sleep tonight.

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Celebrate Advent!
Susan Lyttek

12/6/2018

In Gratitude to a Kind Stranger
Susan Lyttek

11/28/2018

Thankful Moments
Susan Lyttek

11/21/2018

Brave Life
Susan Lyttek

11/14/2018

The Need to Do
Susan Lyttek

11/7/2018

A Week that Makes Me Remember Mom
Susan Lyttek

10/31/2018

Trying to Understand a Just God
Susan Lyttek

10/24/2018

Our Limited Perspectives
Susan Lyttek

10/17/2018

My Hope
Susan Lyttek

10/10/2018

Grieving through the Eyes of Eternity
Susan Lyttek

10/3/2018

(Re) Learning to Scream
Susan Lyttek

9/25/2018

Hurricanes and Other Storms
Susan Lyttek

9/15/2018

Trusting God Doesn't Come Easy
Susan Lyttek

9/7/2018

The Walk of Life
Susan Lyttek

9/1/2018

Escaping Life Under the Sun
Susan Lyttek

8/24/2018

Why I Know There is a Hell
Susan Lyttek

8/18/2018

What I Can Do
Susan Lyttek

8/10/2018

The Non-writing Writing
Susan Lyttek

8/3/2018

Thoughts on Forgiveness
Susan Lyttek

7/28/2018

Of Mice and Fragile Clay
Susan Lyttek

7/21/2018

Farewell to the Teenage Years
Susan Lyttek

7/6/2018

Living Free
Susan Lyttek

6/30/2018

Reminiscing
Susan Lyttek

6/22/2018

A Writer's Tribute to Honest Guys
Susan Lyttek

6/15/2018

In Balance
Susan Lyttek

6/10/2018

Learning from Tabitha
Susan Lyttek

6/2/2018

Still Learning to Breathe
Susan Lyttek

5/26/2018

To Breathe
Susan Lyttek

5/19/2018

Sisters, Mothers and Dear Women
Susan Lyttek

5/13/2018

Tied to the Electrons
Susan Lyttek

5/6/2018

Powerless
Susan Lyttek

4/29/2018

A Sestina Education
Susan Lyttek

4/23/2018

Remodeling
Susan Lyttek

4/15/2018

Learning to Promote
Susan Lyttek

4/9/2018

Nobody's Fool--An Easter Sestina
Susan Lyttek

3/31/2018

The Week Leading to Easter
Susan Lyttek

3/25/2018

Off-balance
Susan Lyttek

3/18/2018

Lessons from the Hyacinth
Susan Lyttek

3/11/2018

Plant Lessons--The Aloe
Susan Lyttek

3/4/2018

The Lessons the Birds Teach Me
Susan Lyttek

2/25/2018

Love... By Any Other Name
Susan Lyttek

2/17/2018

The Ongoing Task of Learning
Susan Lyttek

2/4/2018

Musings About Pain
Susan Lyttek

1/29/2018

Time to Breathe
Susan Lyttek

1/21/2018

A Poem a Day
Susan Lyttek

1/13/2018

Beginnings
Susan Lyttek

1/6/2018

Why the Gospel of Luke Speaks to Me Best
Susan Lyttek

12/29/2017

Christmas Letter
Susan Lyttek

12/21/2017

Revisiting Anna
Susan Lyttek

12/9/2017

Twas the Night
Susan Lyttek

12/1/2017

Quitting
Susan Lyttek

11/25/2017

The Wonder of a Shoebox
Susan Lyttek

11/18/2017

A Place to Hide
Susan Lyttek

11/11/2017

Thoughts on the Reformation
Susan Lyttek

11/4/2017

Lessons in Praise
Susan Lyttek

10/28/2017

Why I Love Fairy Tales (and It Probably Isn’t What You Think)
Susan Lyttek

10/21/2017

For Better, For Worse
Susan Lyttek

10/14/2017

Practicing Functional Fitness
Susan Lyttek

10/7/2017

Tired
Susan Lyttek

9/30/2017

Priorities
Susan Lyttek

9/23/2017

Teaching Other People's Kids
Susan Lyttek

9/16/2017

Crunch Time
Susan Lyttek

9/9/2017

At War With ... Myself
Susan Lyttek

9/2/2017

Prepping for the School Year
Susan Lyttek

8/26/2017

Overweight, Part Three
Susan Lyttek

8/19/2017

Overweight, Part Two
Susan Lyttek

8/11/2017

Overweight
Susan Lyttek

8/5/2017

Creating Worlds
Susan Lyttek

7/28/2017

Prepping to Attend a Christian Writers Conference
Susan Lyttek

7/20/2017

Karl Lessons
Susan Lyttek

7/7/2017

How I Learned the Feeling of Freedom
Susan Lyttek

7/3/2017

Learning from Marriage
Susan Lyttek

6/24/2017

What I Learned from my Dad
Susan Lyttek

6/17/2017

Lessons from Being Sick and Tired
Susan Lyttek

6/11/2017

My Worst Critic
Susan Lyttek

5/26/2017

May Birthday Tribute
Susan Lyttek

5/20/2017

Learning to Mom
Susan Lyttek

5/13/2017

Learning to Mom
Susan Lyttek

5/13/2017

Learning Honesty
Susan Lyttek

5/6/2017

A Tribute to my Husband
Susan Lyttek

4/22/2017

Celebrating the Resurrection
Susan Lyttek

4/15/2017

Your Custom Tract
Susan Lyttek

4/8/2017

March Birthday Tribute
Susan Lyttek

3/29/2017

A Tribute to Grandparents
Susan Lyttek

3/11/2017

God as Our Rock
Susan Lyttek

3/4/2017

February Birthday Tribute
Susan Lyttek

2/18/2017

Writing, Living and Existing
Susan Lyttek

2/11/2017

Learning from the Groundhog and the Auto Show
Susan Lyttek

2/4/2017

January Birthday Tribute
Susan Lyttek

1/28/2017

Of Christmases and January Past
Susan Lyttek

1/21/2017

Welcome 2017!
Susan Lyttek

12/31/2016

Our Christmas Letter
Susan Lyttek

12/23/2016

NaNo and Pebble Lessons
Susan Lyttek

12/16/2016

December Birthday Tributes
Susan Lyttek

12/5/2016

NaNoWriMo Lessons and Hopes
Susan Lyttek

11/18/2016

My November Birthday Tributes
Susan Lyttek

11/11/2016

Lessons of the Week
Susan Lyttek

11/4/2016

Learning to Speak Feline
Susan Lyttek

10/28/2016

On Changed Hearts, Changed Minds and Politics
Susan Lyttek

10/21/2016

October Birthday Tribute
Susan Lyttek

10/12/2016

Words and the Word (Part 2)
Susan Lyttek

10/2/2016

Words and the Word (Part 1)
Susan Lyttek

9/26/2016

Questions of Pain
Susan Lyttek

9/18/2016

September Birthdays
Susan Lyttek

9/11/2016

Standard Rescue, part 2
Susan Lyttek

9/3/2016

Standard Rescue, part 1
Susan Lyttek

8/27/2016

How to Go Into Debt
Susan Lyttek

8/19/2016

The Difference Hope Makes
Susan Lyttek

7/30/2016

Why Teach Poetry?
Susan Lyttek

7/24/2016

Lessons from My Color Bible, Part 3
Susan Lyttek

7/15/2016

Blog-itis
Susan Lyttek

7/8/2016

Reminiscing with the Patriot
Susan Lyttek

7/4/2016

Lessons in Fear
Susan Lyttek

6/30/2016

Lessons from My Color Bible, Part 2
Susan Lyttek

6/10/2016

Leftover Queen, Part II
Susan Lyttek

5/27/2016

Leftover Queen
Susan Lyttek

5/20/2016

Lessons from my Color Bible
Susan Lyttek

5/12/2016

Living As Called
Susan Lyttek

4/22/2016

Making Writing Fun Again
Susan Lyttek

4/15/2016

Springing
Susan Lyttek

4/6/2016

Good Friday Thoughts
Susan Lyttek

3/26/2016

Confessions of a Delinquent Blogger
Susan Lyttek

3/23/2016

Accepting the Gift of Free Time
Susan Lyttek

2/29/2016

Rest vs. the Type-A Female
Susan Lyttek

2/22/2016

Lessons on Sickness and Rest
Susan Lyttek

2/14/2016

Sick Lessons
Susan Lyttek

2/6/2016

Blocked
Susan Lyttek

1/27/2016

When Inspiration Fails to Strike
Susan Lyttek

1/16/2016

Stumbling Into the New Year
Susan Lyttek

1/13/2016

Annual Christmas Letter
Susan Lyttek

12/26/2015

Benefits to the Parent: Help with Work
Susan Lyttek

10/31/2015

Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: Home
Susan Lyttek

10/24/2015

The Benefits of Unscheduled Free Time
Susan Lyttek

10/16/2015

Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: More Empathetic
Susan Lyttek

10/9/2015

Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: More Empathetic
Susan Lyttek

10/9/2015

Benefits to the Parent: More Willing to Persevere
Susan Lyttek

10/2/2015

Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: Closer to God
Susan Lyttek

9/25/2015

Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: More Intuitive
Susan Lyttek

9/18/2015

Benefits to the Homeschool Parent--Weaker
Susan Lyttek

9/11/2015

Benefits to the Parent--Seeing God's Hand
Susan Lyttek

9/4/2015

Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: Savvy-er
Susan Lyttek

8/28/2015

Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: Braver
Susan Lyttek

8/21/2015

Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: Wiser
Susan Lyttek

8/14/2015

The Benefits to the Homeschool Parent: Smarter
Susan Lyttek

8/7/2015

Benefits of Being a Homeschool Parent (Intro)
Susan Lyttek

7/31/2015

Lessons from my Great Aunt Ansie
Susan Lyttek

7/24/2015

Virginia Writers Conference
Susan Lyttek

7/14/2015

Relearning Fitness (Part 2)
Susan Lyttek

7/10/2015

Some Truth About Independence Day
Susan Lyttek

7/3/2015

Relearning Fitness (Part 1)
Susan Lyttek

6/26/2015

Under the Sun
Susan Lyttek

6/19/2015

A Lesson I Keep Needing to Re-Learn
Susan Lyttek

6/13/2015

Times of Transition
Susan Lyttek

6/6/2015

Blog Ideas
Susan Lyttek

5/30/2015

Mercs Next Door, Part 2
Susan Lyttek

5/23/2015

Mercs Next Door, Part 1
Susan Lyttek

5/15/2015

Getting to Mom
Susan Lyttek

5/9/2015

To Blog or Not to Blog
Susan Lyttek

5/2/2015

Driving Lessons
Susan Lyttek

4/25/2015

Gaming Education
Susan Lyttek

4/18/2015

Fast Lessons
Susan Lyttek

4/11/2015

Resurrection Thoughts
Susan Lyttek

4/4/2015

Power of the Coupon
Susan Lyttek

3/28/2015

Spring Planting
Susan Lyttek

3/21/2015

Showing My Age
Susan Lyttek

3/14/2015

Teaching Women
Susan Lyttek

3/7/2015

Beware the Ides of... February
Susan Lyttek

2/28/2015

Honoring a President in Fiction
Susan Lyttek

2/21/2015

Gratitude Lessons
Susan Lyttek

2/14/2015

The Pros and Cons of Research
Susan Lyttek

2/6/2015

Off the Hamster Wheel... Part 3
Susan Lyttek

1/30/2015

Off the Hamster Wheel... Part 2
Susan Lyttek

1/24/2015

The Homeschool Hamster Wheel
Susan Lyttek

1/16/2015

Etiquette Education
Susan Lyttek

1/9/2015

Ready Stance
Susan Lyttek

1/2/2015

Our Christmas Letter
Susan Lyttek

12/26/2014

Sharing Christmas, Part Two
Susan Lyttek

12/19/2014

Sharing Christmas
Susan Lyttek

12/12/2014

Swedish Christmas Education
Susan Lyttek

12/5/2014

The Worry/Grumble Antidote
Susan Lyttek

11/28/2014

Milestone Days
Susan Lyttek

11/21/2014

Volunteer Education--via Operation Christmas Child
Susan Lyttek

11/14/2014

Veteran Education
Susan Lyttek

11/7/2014

Reformation Education
Susan Lyttek

10/31/2014

The Reluctant Vegetarian
Susan Lyttek

10/24/2014

What I Didn't, Couldn't Teach
Susan Lyttek

10/17/2014

Learning to Stand
Susan Lyttek

10/10/2014

Christian Work Ethic
Susan Lyttek

10/3/2014

Animal Education
Susan Lyttek

9/26/2014

Changing the Love of Learning
Susan Lyttek

9/19/2014

Blog Block
Susan Lyttek

9/12/2014

Educating Mom
Susan Lyttek

9/5/2014

The Debate
Susan Lyttek

8/29/2014

Interview with Jane, a non-homeschooling friend
Susan Lyttek

8/22/2014

The Homeschool Rebel
Susan Lyttek

8/15/2014

Other Countries, Other Peoples
Susan Lyttek

8/8/2014

George Washington Lessons
Susan Lyttek

8/1/2014

Interview with Heather Day Gilbert
Susan Lyttek

7/25/2014

A Creation Education
Susan Lyttek

7/18/2014

The Blessing of the Church
Susan Lyttek

7/11/2014

Free to Homeschool
Susan Lyttek

7/4/2014

The Best Thing
Susan Lyttek

6/27/2014

School Lite
Susan Lyttek

6/20/2014

Homeschooling Poetry
Susan Lyttek

6/13/2014

Homeschool Preschool
Susan Lyttek

6/6/2014

AWANAcation (or Awana Education)
Susan Lyttek

5/30/2014

Drowning in the Ideal Schedule
Susan Lyttek

5/23/2014

Penpal Encouragement: An Interview with Sandi
Susan Lyttek

5/16/2014

Unexpected Education
Susan Lyttek

5/9/2014

When Is a Homeschool Mom NOT a Homeschool Mom?
Susan Lyttek

5/2/2014

Relax, It's Just Writing
Susan Lyttek

4/25/2014

Purpose Driven Homeschool
Susan Lyttek

4/18/2014

The Heart of the Music
Susan Lyttek

4/11/2014

Music Lessons
Susan Lyttek

4/4/2014

Teaching My Testimony (Part 2)
Susan Lyttek

3/28/2014

Teaching My Testimony (Part 1)
Susan Lyttek

3/21/2014

Glimmers of Homeschooling
Susan Lyttek

3/14/2014

Failed Days
Susan Lyttek

3/7/2014

Other Side of the Homeschool Table...Leanne Hanson
Susan Lyttek

2/28/2014

Fairy Tale Theology
Susan Lyttek

2/21/2014

Things I Love about Life and Homeschooling
Susan Lyttek

2/14/2014

Limitless Creativity by Bonnie Rose Hudson
Susan Lyttek

2/7/2014

Weaving Christ into Math
Susan Lyttek

1/31/2014

Paula Mowery Interview
Susan Lyttek

1/24/2014

Historic Field Trips
Susan Lyttek

1/17/2014

Snow Days... Homeschool Style
Susan Lyttek

1/10/2014

Homeschooled Mom Resolutions
Susan Lyttek

1/3/2014

Off Schedule
Susan Lyttek

12/27/2013

Teaching Christmas
Susan Lyttek

12/20/2013

The (Writerly) Benefits of Learning Together
Susan Lyttek

12/13/2013

Homeschooling reinforced that I am not perfect
Susan Lyttek

12/6/2013

And they said homeschooling would be easy...
Susan Lyttek

11/29/2013