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S. A. J. Lyttek, a multiple award-winning writer, always loved writing, but didn’t arrive at the profession in the typical manner. After college and graduate school, she plunged into government consulting. In this environment, she discovered a knack for writing tests, interviews and other measurements. That soon became the focus of her career—reigniting her love for the written word. Thus captivated, she spent evenings freelancing “fun” writing including short stories, poems, articles and cards. When her eldest was a toddler, she quit full-time work to stay home and write. Eager to spend more time with her children, homeschooling intrigued her. From preschool through high school, she homeschooled both sons while continuing to freelance. While an integral part of the homeschooling community, she developed and taught writing classes to a generation of homeschoolers. Married to her childhood sweetheart, Gary, Mrs. Lyttek loves to share her commitment to learners of all ages and her fascination with the written word.
I will not be near either of my sons on Mother’s Day. And that’s by choice. I will, instead, be in Chicagoland getting prepped to help my dad resettle in his cleaned and fumigated house.
Before you go saying that I’m a terrible mother or heartless or some such thing, let me state my case.
First of all, before the mid-1800s, Mother’s Day as we know it didn’t exist. In terms of observations, it’s pretty new. And the women who created it and advocated for it didn’t simply want to honor mothers. They were also looking for a way to get the plight of overworked mothers into the public eye. Some of that was due to the rigors of the frontier, some to the advent of factory labor. Some was just because that’s how mothering has always been. The three advocates for the day over a few decades also hoped to educate women how to be better mothers and thought that the honor might give them something to strive for.
They even made references to the Bible. God called mothers blessed, didn’t he? And in the Ten Commandments, God instructed, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12) And in Proverbs, it says that it’s a good thing if the children make the mother rejoice.
All of this, and American public opinion, influenced the leaders until Woodrow Wilson proclaimed that the second Sunday in May would henceforth be called Mother’s Day.
But then the card industry got ahold of the day.
Before I became a mother, I would give my mother what she wanted on Mother’s Day. Usually, it was something time related like playing golf, going for tea, or seeing a ballet. But I didn’t do it because I like Mother’s Day. I did it because my mom would have felt slighted if I didn’t. Since I loved her, I preferred to ignore that outcome. One present, taking her to spend the day with giraffe experts at the zoo, was how I got acquainted with and fell in love with okapis!
The game changed when I became a mother. After a few attempts to do something for me by my guys where I felt totally embarrassed and awkward, I said no more fuss. After all, it’s an artificial holiday.
And, I added, if you get right down to it, any mother is a mother 365 days a year. You don’t become more of a mother just because it’s Mother’s Day. It’s like, you don’t become more loved just because it’s Valentine’s Day or more Irish simply because it’s St. Patrick’s Day. (Even though Patrick was actually Roman.)
I get that we need to celebrate when we can. God even commanded feasts and celebrations in the Old Testament. I also get that we need to honor the people we love in our lives, because that love comes in the image and reflection of the love of our Creator.
It’s just that I prefer my mother’s days to be a bit more spontaneous. Like when one of them calls or texts, just because. Or I get a hug because “you looked like you needed it”. Or when we’re all together and one of them pulls out my favorite board game.
My guys are good at giving me mother’s day moments throughout the year. 365 days a year, they are my sons and I am their mother.
Am I saying it’s wrong to celebrate? Obviously not since I used to in order to show my mom how I appreciated her. It’s just, other than Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter, I prefer spontaneous, rather than scheduled holidays.
If you’re not a mother, think of ways you can honor yours in person or in memory.
And for all you mothers out there, I pray you feel blessed by your offspring whatever age they might be, and honored by God for agreeing to that calling on your life. 365 days a year.