I Miss...

I Miss...
9/2/2020 9:54:00 AM by: Susan Lyttek

I don’t know whether it’s the rain, not enough sleep, or the start of a new school year under less than optimal conditions. Whatever it is, or whatever combination sparked it, I have been feeling melancholy lately. I find myself missing any number of times, people and creatures.

First off, just because she’s the most recent, I miss my cat. We do have a nearly daily visitor in the neighborhood cat, Mio, which I do appreciate. Without his ministrations the lack of feline presence would be even sharper. But oddly enough, I miss caring for Checkers. I miss checking on her towel, doing her laundry and emptying her box. It was part of my morning routine to walk into the office and see how she was doing and what she needed. Somehow, I feel like I should still be doing that.

Second, I miss my mom. It’s been almost two years. I would never have thought that I would miss her as much as I do. I love her, yes, but we always bickered and debated each other. Yes, it had become more amicable after I had kids, but it never went away. I’ve always been a daddy’s girl and found it easier to talk to him and get along with him. But there are some things that I only talked with mom about, some conversations and references that only she understood. For instance, we could talk books for hours. And she put up with me getting snarky about people who got on my nerves.

Since it is the beginning of a school year, I miss being a homeschooling mom. My guys had the nerve to grow up faster than I wanted them to. I love them both and am proud of what they’re doing and who they’re becoming, but they’re adults now. Fortunately, I remember telling them during my favorite moments to never grow up, so I think they knew how much I appreciated those times. I would love to bottle the instances when Erik was snuggled into my side, Karl was on my lap and I was reading to them. Those hours were precious.

I miss normal activity with my friends and neighbors. I am an introvert, so I don’t go out of my way to talk to people, even when I should. But there are a lot of people that I used to say ‘hi’ to and then hug on a fairly regular basis. I’ve written to many of them, but it’s not the same. Nor can those hugs be made up by someone else. It just doesn’t equate.

I miss dates with my hubby. This morning we both woke up too early. We talked about how, in another time, that would have meant breakfast at Bob Evans. And while I know that it (as well as many other restaurants) are available for dine-in, we are not that trusting. Eating on a patio we would consider, but haven’t even managed to do that yet.

So yes, I’m feeling a bit melancholy. But that doesn’t mean that I’m ignoring the blessings. I like that Gary, Karl and I are all working/studying from home and see more of each other. I like that Erik chose a wife who I absolutely adore. I like that the view out my window is green instead of the usual brown of early September. I like that I know that God loves me. I like the story ideas that flit through my brain and the students (most of them) that I work with. I am blessed.

But still, on dreary days, let me cry a little. Because as good and wonderful as things are, there will always be the things, times and people that are missed.

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