The Adventures of Asterisk-Girl and her Trusty Sidekick, Footnote (Introduction and Episode 1)

The Adventures of Asterisk-Girl and her Trusty Sidekick, Footnote (Introduction and Episode 1)
6/19/2019 3:29:00 PM by: Susan Lyttek

I have a creative mind. When it comes to writing stories, that’s a great thing. When it comes to daily life, however, it can annoy or get in the way. For instance, my dear hubby might say something like, “It’s a beautiful day.” I can’t just agree. I’ll look at the sky. “There are too many clouds, though.”

While homeschooling, I trained up my sons in the way I think. They, too, look for exceptions to the rule. That serves Erik well in science. It makes him a natural at investigating. Karl, though, takes it to the next level. When we talk, Gary says it makes his head hurt. We banter back and forth, each coming up with new variations on the theme. Well, this would work if that. Impossible. If that, it would mean this. And so on and so forth. Sometimes one of us will leave the room and pick up the conversation when returning. It can go on for HOURS.

In his self-defense, Gary named us Asterisk-Girl and Footnote. He then proceeded to change our latest debate into a hysterically funny adventure that I wished I had written down. But in the theme of that, I have decided to create a series of their stories for whenever this blog gets too serious. Welcome to the first installment!

In today’s episode, we find Asterisk-Girl in her daily persona as a wife and mother. Thus, she is grocery shopping. She hates grocery shopping and is looking for a distraction.

What does she see in aisle two? A mom of two little ones is comparing two brands of sweetened cereal flakes. She looks confused and distressed. This is a job for Asterisk-Girl!

Morphing into her superhero identity she approaches the woman. “I can help.”

“You can? Oh, thank you. Johnny and Jimmy are tired of being in the store.”

Asterisk-Girl proudly puts her hands on hips and sticks out her chest to show off her logo. “I am here to save the day!” Chokes. “Sorry, borrowed another superhero’s tag line.” Takes the two boxes from the mom’s hands. “Well, it’s obvious why you have a dilemma.”

“It is?”

“Of course.” She points to the label of cereal A. “This has high-fructose corn syrup. That’s bad.”

The mother sighs. “So, I should take the other one?”

AG points to the label of cereal B. “This one has bleached white flour and MSG. It also costs more per ounce.”

The mother’s head goes back and forth between the two boxes like a ping pong ball. “So, I should take A?”

“Of course not.” Pulls a box of shredded cardboard off the shelf. “You should buy this one. It has nothing bad for you in it.”

Suddenly there’s a loud crackling sound and a huge frowning face (would be a smiley face, but it is not smiling) pops into the aisle, floating above their heads. “It also has nothing good for you in it.”

“Footnote!” AG shouts joyfully. “You beat me to that line.”

“Just doing my job.”

One of the small boys stands up in the shopping cart and pats at Footnote who actually does bounce from side to side of the aisle like a ping pong ball.

“Aargh!” The mom screams, shoving the boy back in his seat and pushing the cart down the aisle as fast as she can go… without any cereal at all.

“Looks like our mission is complete.”

“Maybe,” agrees Footnote. “If you can get me to stop bouncing.”

“Is it really bouncing?” asked AG. “I think it’s diminished to more of a popping.”

“No,” argues Footnote. “It most certainly has a a bounce to it. Just listen.”

“A pop. Reminds me of soda.”

etc. etc. etc.

*In all honesty, and true to the superhero, Asterisk-Girl and Footnote are not totally original character names. The French have had Asterix and Obelix, whose names mean the same thing, for a long time. However, their characters do not act like asterisks and footnotes. But the author Rene Goscinny has been known to use both asterisks and footnotes in his books.

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